• Sex is no big deal.

• Sex is just a physical act.

• God is down on sex.

• Everyone is doing it.

• It’s impossible to be pure.

Which of these falsehoods seems the strongest in your world? Which do you encounter the most?

Where do you see it?

Are you in danger of believing any of these? Which of these falsehoods do you find most tempting?

3 TRUE messages we don’t usually hear from the world.

• Your sexual decisions will leave life-long memories.

• Your sexual decisions can have life-long consequences.

• The best sex lives are found in marriages who waited.

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV

Take a few moments to think about the kind of life you want to have 15 years from now. Consider spiritual, social, educational, occupational, and physical factors. Write down six words that could describe that life.

If you are in a romantic relationship now, what do you want from that relationship? Write down the three best benefits you get from it.

What “boundary plans” can you establish? These are not matters of what’s sinful, but what will put you in dangerous situations. (Doug’s friend suggested: clothes on, lights on, stay upright.) Can you make some personal rules about where and when you’re with someone; what you wear; how you act; etc.?

If you are in a romantic relationship now, have you ever talked with the other person about these “boundary plans” or your sexual standards? If not, when will you?

Can you think of three reasons you might be tempted to violate your sexual standards? Write them in the left column below. Then, at the right of each one, write ways you can respond to those temptations.

Temptations Responses

What input comes into your mind regarding sex? (Consider TV, movies, music, locker-room talk, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, and small groups.)

How much of this input is leading you in the wrong direction?

What can you do to turn off that dangerous input?

On the back of this page, in 40 words or less, write a “Help me!” prayer that you could use when you’re having trouble fighting sexual temptation.

There’s one word that stands out to me more than any other word in that verse, and it is purify. The definition of purify is to rid of impurities – to cleanse. What John is saying here is that God will not only forgive our sins, but He will also purify, cleanse and restore us to the state we were in before our sin – our original state.

When Shelley Hitz asked me to write a story on forgiveness for her blog and book, “Unshackled and Free: True Stories of Forgiveness,” it took about 10 seconds to figure out what I was going to write on.  I could’ve talked about how God has forgiven me of my past life which consisted of being addicted to drugs and alcohol, arrested over 25 times, 36 felony convictions, and 10 years in prison, but that’s not what God wanted.

God wanted me to share how I use the verse in 1st John to help prostitutes, sex addicts and anyone who has had sex outside of marriage. Below is one story that took place in October of 2010, and it is similar to every other person I do this with. I hope it helps you find forgiveness in your own life if you have had sex outside of God’s will.

Sometimes You Have to Head Straight into the Pain to Come Out on the Other Side

One afternoon I met with up with a girl who, at the time, was addicted to almost any drug she could put into her veins. In order to pay for the drugs she was addicted to, she would sleep with countless men. At one point she was having sex with over 30 people a day. As we started to talk about her lifestyle I noticed right away that the sex she was having to support her habit really weighed heavy on her heart. Now, you would think that something like this would bother just about anyone, but when you’re living in sin it just becomes second nature.

So I asked her, “Why, out of all the stuff that you do to support your drug habit, is this one that bothers you the most?” Her response shocked me. She talked about how she knew that one day God would deliver her from her habit and that once that happened, she wanted to have a husband and children like she used to dream about when she was growing up. She went on to talk about how no man in their right mind would ever want to marry her because of her sexual past and this is what was weighing so heavily on her. She asked me, “Do you think any godly man would want me?”

Before I answered her question, I went back into my office and grabbed a devotional that a friend of mine written and my Bible. I sat back down and said, “Before I answer your question I want you to follow me on this. This devotion I have in my hand is called ‘Hope for Lily.’ Lily means purity. I would give you this devotional, but it really wouldn’t mean too much to you. You have slept with so many men that it would just be a waste of time for you to read it.” She sat there in that chair with tears running down her face. Any hope that she had, I had just ripped it from her in a few sentences. “But I do have something I want to share with you,” I told her. I opened my Bible up to 1 John 1:9, and I asked her to read it. She read it out loud with trembling in her voice. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” I said, “do you realize what this means? It means that if you confess your sexual sins and turn from them, that God will not only forgive you, but also purify you back to the original state that He intended for you to be. That state is being a virgin until you are married.

Well, something must have clicked inside of her, because her tears went from sadness to joy, and in between her crying she asked God to forgive her of all her sins, including the sexual ones, and then proclaimed: “I am once again a virgin.” I sat there and looked at her for a moment with joy in my heart, like a proud father looks at his children, and slid the devotional across the table to her and said, “This devotional now has everything to do with you. You are now pure, you are now a virgin. …Oh yeah, and by the way, yes I believe that a godly man would want to share his life with you.”

Forgiven and Free

Today, that girl is serving Jesus, has been off of drugs for quite a long time, and has been saving herself for marriage. She tells anyone and everyone she can, that she is a virgin – even though she was once a hooker. How awesome is that?